I love Sundays. After a hectic week of work, too little sleep and false promises to run 2 miles on the treadmill, it’s always nice to throw my problems to the side, soak in a good choir tune, play a round of call and response with my pastor, and give reverence to the omnipresent guy upstairs.
But giving thanks to God aside, it’s also one of the few days out of the week I get to don a bedazzled stiletto, pop on my favorite knee length flirty and fun frock, strut my stuff in between the church pews, and dare I say enjoy a selfish does of sexiness on a Sunday. Unfortunately, as much as I love getting my “saved, sanctified and sexy” on (or what I’ve dubbed my “SSS”), not everyone shares in my delight.
You see Merriam-Webster defines the word sexy as “sexually appealing…or generally attractive or exciting,” or as I affectionately call it, the saved woman’s antithesis. As Christian women, most of us our taught our sexuality isn’t allowed to kick-in until the wedding night and any opposing feelings are cause for concern or at minimum a trip to the altar. But I refute and rebuke the clamp on the saved lady’s sexiness.
Personally, I think murder, fornication, or sputtering off misogynistic one liners like “these hoes ain’t loyal” behind the protection of a pulpit, are a little worse than a church girl posting a Picstitch with the caption #SavedAndSexy…but what does this worldly twenty-something know.
It’s no secret the black church has had a complicated relationship with sexuality. In the midst of a hypersexualized pop culture, Erica Campbell album covers and the constant evolution of what it even means to be “sexy,” it’s only natural spiritual leaders would struggle to find a firm foothold on the issue. But saved, single, sanctified or doused in sin, if you’re a woman, you’ve been gifted with an innate ability to be sexy and darn it, you have the right to show it off in a respectful, won’t make the usher do a double-take kind of manner.
So if you find ankle skirts, covered heads and apprehension to embracing your femininity and sexuality quite the challenge, try these tips to embrace, flaunt and strut your sexiness…all in the name of Jesus of course.
Don’t believe the hype.
Despite what Sister So-and-So may have said, entering the sanctuary sans your white tights and ankle length skirt is not immediate cause for condemnation. In fact, lessening clothing restrictions may make for a more enjoyable and limber worship experience.
When in doubt, grab a pencil skirt.
It’s sleek, classy, fits just about body type and is a guaranteed way to get your grown woman on.
Don’t look to the Saints to validate your sexiness
A.) Rarely will someone in your church fam describe you as sexy. B.) If they do, nine times out of ten they’re throwing shade. True sexiness comes from within, not from the gazes of the deacon board, the height of your heels, or the acceptance of a church mother. Being sexy is intrinsic and only you can give it or take it away.
He (or she) is your preacher not your stylist.
When Joel Olsteen has his first showing at Fashion Week, maybe I’ll care.
There’s a thin line between trashy and classy. Don’t cross it.
This one goes without saying. Sexy girls don’t need to dress to impress or to show booty and breast. It also makes this article 10x harder to write when you’re walking around in daisy dukes and cropped tops.
Ideals rooted in gender inequality never prosper so don’t waste your energy sweating them.
So let me get this straight — it’s acceptable and somewhat expected that Brother So-and-So gaze at Sister What’s Her Name’s backside in her pencil skirt and stilettos on Sunday morning, but heaven forbid Sis. What’s Her Name is aware of her attractiveness, feminine prowess and dare I say, actually embrace it. Come again, preacher?
Just because you’re ‘sexy’ doesn’t mean you’re a sex machine.
The word ‘sexy’ may have close cousins with suggestive words, but in this context, being “sexy” is more than a precursor to doing the deed. It’s a feeling of unshakeable confidence and self-assuredness founded in an acute awareness of who and what you are. Now if you happen to be a sex feign too, well, that’s another article.
Be confident, be bold, be you.
This one is sometimes easier said than done, but a must. Sexiness can be complimented by an outfit but is not defined by it. Ask any guy with some sense and they’ll tell you there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman. Top it off with a woman who knows who she is in her eyes and in the Lord’s and you’ve got a winning combo. Don’t ever lose your swag for Christ. He made you this fabulous so show it off to the world!