Four Stages of Falling Out of Love with Colin Kaepernick

Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

Remember when we all thought Colin Kaepernick was one of the wokest mofos we knew? Well, apparently homie was just sleep-walking. Our bad. As it turns out, our once beloved light-skinned brotha and recent member of #TeamNatural, is actually the disappoint failed dreams are made of.

After sparking both praise and criticism this season for his decision to not stand during the playing of the national anthem, the NFL player made headlines again when word spread that he did not vote in the 2016 presidential election. On Sunday, the San Francisco 49ers quarterback defended his actions, saying it would have been hypocritical to vote in the election after his public protest.

You know, I think it would be hypocritical of me to vote,” Kaepernick told reporters. “I said from the beginning I was against oppression, I was against the system of oppression. I’m not going to show support for that system. And to me, the oppressor isn’t going to allow you to vote your way out of your oppression.

Maybe Kaepernick was out of school at f**kboi camp during Black History Month. That’s really the only logical explanation I can think of as to a why a grown, fully functioning black man would willingly not cast a vote in an election, and then take it a step further and attempt to rationalize the decision. I pray the spirit of Fannie Lou Hamer haunts him forever.

But I digress.

Anger loves company, so let’s all be in our feelings together as we walk through the stages of accepting that Colin Kapernick is in fact as stupid, dumb and no good as we hoped he wouldn’t be.

1. The awakening (also known as the “wait, what?” phase?).

Remember how you felt when you learned the DC snipers were black? Or that Rachel Dolezal was a real thing? Insert that emotion here. You mean to tell me the same guy who knelt during the national anthem and rocks a ‘fro that would make even Angela Davis raise an eyebrow isn’t really ‘bout that life? Dang, bruh.

2. Reasonable doubt.

But, are you sure he really didn’t vote? Yes. It wasn’t a Gawker post or anything? Nope. So why would a man who resurrected the relevancy and inclusivity of the national anthem, and who in a single act became the poster child of modern social resilience, not partake in one of the greatest American liberties and African-American victories? In the words of the incomparable Damon Young, “because some ni**as is stupid.” Not dumb, just stupid. Like, bringing Sam’s Club potato salad to the cookout and hoping no one would notice, type of stupid.

3. Rage. Angela Bassett circa Waiting to Exhale level rage.

732! 732! The number of times we should kick this man in the shin. So this muthafu**in’ negro had all of black America defending him and his right to blackness at our respective water coolers and potlucks, and then had the audacity to not cast a vote. Colin, we were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. Does the blood from our ancestors residing in the streets of cities across the country mean nothing to you? Does the fact that you’re a public figure making a dumb decision, which means because you’re you, other people might feel compelled to make the same dumb decision, mean anything to you? You say you want change yet you fail to exercise one of the single most important actions we as Americans have to bring about the so-called change you speak so highly of. To call you a hypocrite is far too nice. ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith summarized it best:

“As far as I’m concerned, Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant,” Smith said on ESPN’s First Take. “I don’t want to see him again, I don’t want to hear from him again, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change. “He comes across as a flaming hypocrite, as far as I’m concerned. …To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate — it is shameful, absolutely shameful.”

4. Acceptance.

So this is who Kaepernick is, huh? A wannabe down, mediocre player, do it for the ‘Gram, carries his blackness in his Afro, type of guy. Got it. It’s always difficult to revoke a black card and throw another black man into the pool of deplorables, or what I like call the basket of “ain’t s**t niggas,” however stupid actions call for swift checks to the chin. Colin, you did this to yourself. Bottom line, don’t put your trust in man folks; especially the light-skinned ones. These wishy-washy, Elmer’s glue-complexion in the wintertime fellas will always let you down eventually.

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