Like many of you I was surprised, saddened and left shaking my head when Tina Campbell, one-half of the gospel duo Mary Mary, admitted to EBONY magazine that her husband of then 13 years had committed adultery.
While Tina had alluded to ripples of unhappiness in her marriage during the last season of the sister’s WETV reality show, Mary Mary, I chalked the drama up to reality show shenanigans and married people problems. But boy was I wrong.
Since her June 2013 interview with EBONY, Tina has shed even more light on her husband’s infidelity (BTW he cheated with a close family friend) and how she is putting her shattered marriage back together one public piece at a time.
I’ll be honest, when I first read the stories and watched the season premiere of Mary Mary as Tina chronicled every emotion, detail and whatever else of her husband’s affair, I was beyond annoyed. Yes, I love my reality television, but watching legit heartbreak happen before my very eyes took the voyeurism to a whole new level. This is not a heated dispute with your stylist on bangs versus bun, or mommy saying goodbye to the kids as she prepares to go on tour — this is your marriage, real-life, shut-the-door-cameras-down type stuff.
The saying, “what goes on in this house, stays in this house” didn’t spring up out of nowhere. Though not applicable to every life situation, Big Mama was speaking some words of wisdom with this one. And while I admire Tina’s honesty, there are some things that are better left in the bedroom and not on the blogs. I also can’t help but wonder if somewhere in the middle of chasing her husband with a kitchen knife and going into full-out “crazed black woman mode,” did Tina vow to put Teddy on national blast for his cheating ways (if so, I secretly love this woman that much more) and unbeknownst to us, we’re all part of her masterminded get-him-back ploy.
But I digress. As much as I question Tina’s ulterior motives in sharing her pain with the world, the most side eye being her upcoming book detailing her experience, there’s something to be said for her refusal to surrender to her pain and shy away under public scrutiny. She tells Wendy Williams:
“I revealed it. I don’t like being hostage to my own secrets and all that. I’ve watched people live with shame and embarrassment. I’m going to do shame for a little while, embarrassment for a little while, then I’ma get over it ‘cause life goes on.”
Now would I tell EBONY mag, Wendy Williams, Kathy Lee and Hoda, and 3 million+ viewers about my husband’s infidelity? Heck no. But more power to Tina for daring to brave the storm without a raincoat, umbrella or at least a bag to cover her hair.
How many times do we shy away from truths because of what we think others will say? Who knows what comforting words, shoulders to cry on, and much needed prayers we’re depriving ourselves of by minding our business.
As an outsider regretfully looking in, my hope is that Tina’s decision to be so forthright about her marital issues will prove to be a successful healing tactic for her and her family, and more than just a media blitz.
Bottom line. Your man. Your marriage. Your problems. Do you boo.