Why the Carters are Completely Unbothered by Our Human Selves

It’s becoming more and more evident that Beyoncé and Jay-Z (order intended) intentionally seek out ways disturb our peace. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Target runs were occurring, friends were brunching, women were getting beautified, hip-hop heads were spinning Nas’ latest album on repeat while marking the calendar for Drake’s upcoming album Scorpion. In the words of Ice Cube, it was a good day. Well, apparently the Carters thought it wasn’t good enough and decided to adjust their crowns by releasing their first joint album, Everything is Love” this past weekend.

For the annual subscribing members of the Bey Hive, while the album was a surprise, it wasn’t a total shock, as a worldwide Beyoncé tour with no new music just didn’t feel right. For those who don’t like surprises, especially those that involve Queen Bey snatching edges, this was quite a bit to take in. Almost like that time you spent 20 minutes making the perfect sandwich, sat down on the coziest couch possible, perfectly positioned the remote so you could munch and surf channels, only to discover that you left your Sweet Tea in the other room. You were good, actually great and now everything is disrupted by this wave-like ripple in your life. Well, the Carters did that and then some in the best of ways possible.

While I’m still digesting the album, I can confidently say it’s not a bad. In fact, it’s a very good. From the beats and lyrics, to the black AF cover, and Hov and Bey chilling at the Lourve, it’s clear the Carters have fully embraced their seat at the throne in pop and black culture. So much so that they’re severely unbothered by what any of us think about them, their relationship, their lifestyle and any other aspect of their lives. The album walks a fine line of confidence and arrogance, which I imagine was by design. From the Marcy Projects and Houston’s Third Ward, to doing whatever they please in one of the world’s most renowned museums, why shouldn’t the couple relish in their accomplishments and legacy. And with this level of achievement also comes the tradition of tossing all your cares into whatever hole Rosanne is currently residing in. What a feeling it must be.

For 38 minutes the Mr. and Mrs. rap, rhyme, hum and whatever that singing/rapping thing Beyoncé does, to remind us they’re good. Their kids are good. Their money is good. Their marriage is good. Everything is good. So good that they’re completely unbothered with whatever rumor, NFL offer and museum touring hours are on the table. Side Note: Is it me or des Bey sound like she just inhaled the best weed ever for 70 percent of the album.

So, in honor of the Carters and their ability not give any f**ks as they laugh in the face of Roger Goodell, here’s a few call-outs from Everything is Love that perfectly explain why the couple is forever unbothered.

  1. They’ve Got Good Friends

First of all, if your crew ever needed a theme song, it’s this. Second, if your friends don’t make songs about you, they’re not trying. Bey says it best, her friends are #Goals, our friends on the other hand are foes. From serving as fill-in parents to their children, to being the perfect confidant and sidekick, the Carters take their hives very seriously.

  1. They’re Rich

The Carters are bosses and bosses make money. So much so that Jay is disturbed at his own accumulated wealth. $100M house, $3M watch and equally rich friends to enjoy their millions with, I can see how acquiring this level of wealth would leave a person unscathed. I on the other hand have been putting off an oil change for two months because giving $60 to someone I will undoubtedly see again in 3-4 months just doesn’t seem like the best idea. Not to mention I have to actually drive my car to the dealer for said oil change, which is a whole other first-world stressor I’m sure Blue Ivy will never know. 

  1. They’re Really Rich

So rich that Beyoncé is already projecting that her great-grandchildren will make the Forbes’ list. Again, if I can just get this oil changed…

  1. People Go Apes**t Crazy for Them

Personally, I’ve never seen a crowd go apes**t crazy because I’ve only known apes to do ape-like things such as climb trees and eat bananas, but whatever. What I do know for sure is that people, including myself, lose their minds, rent and rainy day fund over these two and according to the Carters and Quavo, it’s only right. 

  1. They’re Black

Don’t let the Lamborghini fool you, the Carters are fro’d out and still able to navigate the toughest of MLK boulevards. Black is beautiful and it’s also just enough to have one feeling themselves immensely. Per Jay, he is the culture, and Hov is right. He and his wife are the standard for swag, artistic expression and being black AF. Aspirational but also for the people. Wealthy yet still down for the cause and able to relate to the everyday people who put them on. Elevated but not too high to let injustices like the degradation of black women or the tragedy of Kalief Browder go unnoticed.

  1. They Made It

If we were in church, this is where the organ would kick in. The Carters are cocky because they can be. Consider Everything is Love the ultimate victory lap, the happy ending to the trilogy of Lemonade and 4:44. With more than 15 years in the music industry, 10 years of marriage and three children, you don’t get to their level of fame, contentment and self-awareness, without taking some hits along the way. A celebration is in order. One could only be so lucky to pause for a moment and reflect on the climb to the top as you pat yourself on the back. The album is braggadocios because it should be. The couple is spending money like water because they’ve earned the right to do so. Peace is a tricky thing, so when you finally have it, hold it tight, don’t let go and remind the world how awesome you are for grabbing it in the first place.

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